It's been over a month since I've posted.  I think I've been super busy.  I finished a presentation for a conference that was this past week.  I didn't go and I didn't present it (and I didn't want to do either anyway because of the craziness of classes right now).  But I hope it went well. 

I'm really, really excited for the end of this semester.  My Stats class is boring and has a lot of homework.  I think I have learned a little bit from it, but not as much as I was hoping to.  My Biosystems class turned out to be about mathematical modeling.  I'm not sure I'll be able to apply anything I've learned to my research...but it's interesting at least (math, interesting?).  I've been scrambling to write a rough draft for a paper that I didn't have time to work on until I got the aforementioned presentation finished. 

The most exciting news is, by far, that I submitted The Paper for publication!  Yay!  (The one that's been in the works for over a year...)  :P  I don't know what took me so long...  Now it's just a matter of waiting to get the reviews back.

On a disappointing note...I was going to make homemade rolls for a Thanksgiving potluck today.  I was looking forward to making them.  But someone donated 200 rolls and 30 loaves of bread, so they don't need them.  Now I don't know what to make.  :(  I'm sad and disappointed. 

On a worrying note...the check engine light came on in my car yesterday.  I think that after hitting 100,000 miles on Tuesday, it has decided that it should have a mid-life crisis.  Really, car?  You had to do this right before the holidays when I need to drive places?  Here's hoping I make it to and back from Thanksgiving okay.

I half-watched a bit of the Vice-Presidential debates last night.  I'm not really into politics, but Sarah and Luis were watching, so I sat down and half-payed attention while reading Fruits Basket.  Now I kind of like Sarah Palin.  There are things I don't agree with her on, and I think her interview skills need tons of work, but...I'm a bit concerned about her energy policy.  Because my research is on alternative energy (hence it makes up the majority of my life), I care a little bit about what the politicians think.  They were talking about clean coal.  That's great!  Go clean coal!  But then she says "Drill, baby, drill" like it's the best thing ever...ooohhkaaay...  But what got me was when she said that, in Alaska, they were sitting on tons of green, clean natural gas and they should tap into it.

Wait.  Natural gas?  When did natural gas become green?  It's still a non-renewable resource.  Ohhhh...maybe because oil and coal are black, then other fuel sources that aren't black are green!  I get it now.  :P  Or maybe it's green because we can produce all the natural gas we need here in the US. 

Is anyone else confused by the politicians' and industry's use of the word "Green"?  I'm not exactly sure what they mean when they say that.  They obviously don't mean "Organic", and they don't mean "Renewable".  I think I need to look it up.

Update on my life:  My thesis project appears to still exist.  I'm meeting with the new guy today and will get to see the trees.  And I think I'll have my paper ready TODAY to send out to the other authors to check over!  Hurrah!  And I'm meeting with my advisor next week!

I'm afraid my "thesis project" might be crashing down around my head.  I'm feeling a bit numb and nauseous.  My collaborator in Forestry returned home to Korea months ago and no one told me.  No wonder he never replied to my emails.  I'd like to blame someone but I'm afraid it's my fault for not figuring this out sooner.  We'll see if I actually have any plant material to use, and if it's in the greenhouse, whether anyone actually knows what is what.  The irony is that this is the project that is funding me. 

Of course...I don't think that this project was enough for a thesis anyway.  I'm feeling very lost.  I think I'm going to go home and work on my paper which is something I at least have some control over.

So the City of Lansing is after me.  I am officially a tax evader...and seem to have been so for the past two years.  City taxes?  Cities charge taxes too?  Aren't federal and state taxes enough?  I wonder if they deal with this all of the time.  In order to rectify the situation (because I am really a good citizen and didn't mean to evade my taxes) I have spent the evening filling out tax returns for the past two years.  No one really wants to fill out tax forms in September (or any other time for that matter).  Blah.

As the result of this, I have learned the shocking truth that I made $6000 less in 2006 than in 2007.  (And yet I still tend to be over budget.)  But I was above the poverty line (which in the US in 2007 was $10,210, in case you were wondering).  I have also learned that it is much harder to get out of paying city taxes compared to federal and state (both of which I got refunds for), primarily because that money is not deducted from your paycheck.

So the moral of the story is...if you live in Lansing, pay your taxes.  They'll find you.  Big Brother's watching.  *duh duh duuuhhh*

I need a nap.  I need a vacation.  I think that getting a good night's sleep would be fairly wonderful.  I think that perhaps I am waaay too busy.  Sometimes I wish I could use Grad School as an excuse to not do ministry...but I seem to be incapable of living without serving God.  And I really don't think that once I'm done with Grad School I'll be any less busy so if I can't make excuses then, I can't make excuses now.  I don't really want to stop serving anyway.  I just wish sometimes that I had 24 more hours in each day.  :)

First week of classes is over.  I have homework assigned but I can't access it online, so that means I don't really have homework to do.  Yay!  Two picnics tomorrow for Labor Day.  It should be fun, but thinking ahead to it...it just feels like one more thing to do.  I know I'll enjoy them when I'm there, but right now...  Anyway. 

I got to see randomlanguage and nkdrenni yesterday.  That was nice.  We had a good time at Mongolian BBQ and Petsmart.  Kristyn and I played with the cat toys and looked at the reptiles and guinea pigs while Nikki bought stuff for her cats.  Spending time with them made me realize that I may not be able to go back to Houghton...I may have changed too much.  I'm feeling kind of sad and homesick today.  I haven't been back in three years and I miss the UP.  Maybe I need to make time to go hike in the woods somewhere.

Doesn't the subject sound like the title of a movie?  :)  The Curse of CAFI - Part 3.  :D

Actually CAFI (Consortium for Applied Fundamentals and Innovation - funny how the title tells you nothing about what we're doing) is a research project I'm working on.  There have been CAFI 1 (corn stover) and CAFI 2 (poplar) projects so far and this is the third "episode" (switchgrass).  It's an combined research project between five universities, with help from a national lab and some companies who provide us with materials.  Even though it might sound cool, this project tends to be avoided by the graduate students in my lab because it tends to be...a bit disorganized.  Somehow I ended up with it.  I don't really know how it happened.

I've been waiting on different things to happen in order to do work for three of my projects.  All at once, within days, I have (almost) everything for all three and have so much to do.  I'm wondering what is going on with project 4.  I'm waiting on biomass for that and don't know what's going on...considering that that's the project that is funding my paycheck, I think it's funny that that's the only one I'm not working on.  But I don't have time for it so I'm trying not to think about it.

I gave a literature review Tuesday on "Harvesting Corn Stover: Environmental Impacts on Soil Organic Carbon and Erosion".  It may not sound very exciting, but it actually was interesting (to me anyway) and went really well.  I got compliments from both my advisor AND my lab manager.  Crazy.  I'm glad it went well because my advisor has invited MBI to attend (the company that is scaling up our technology for industry) and they're potential employers down the road (although I don't think I want to stay here in Lansing)...and we actually had someone from MBI show up.  Phew.  Plus we want to give them a good impression of what we're doing in the lab. 

Tomorrow I get to spend my birthday helping lead a group for International Student Orientation.  It's going to be awesome!  :)  I get to lead a group of Grad students.

One of the Chinese grad students mentioned yesterday that 400 of the 1200 incoming internationals are 400 Chinese undergrads.  (That doesn't count the grad students...and there are a lot of Chinese grads too.)  That is crazy!  I guess last year there were 200.  I think China is going to pass Korea as having the largest international population at MSU. 

But for those who wanted to do something on my birthday...sorry.  I got invited by the visiting scholars in my lab to go have homemade dumplings before they go home to China.  I can't miss jiaozu.  I'm skipping out on the Kellogg Center dinner (which I might not get to eat anyway).  They even beat Coldstone ice cream in my opinion.  If you've ever had them...you'll understand.

Five years ago I would have never thought I'd be here now.  Five years ago I thought that by now I'd be married to my best friend with a couple of really adorable kids.  (This was not a dream...he really existed and really was my best friend).  Stay-at-home mom or something.  But five years later I'm still in school.  I have no kids because I'm nowhere close to being married.  (Read that as - no one seems remotely interested in pursuing me...)  :)  Twice in the past five years I've been broken in pieces and reassembled. 

But you know, that's okay.  My life is okay.  And most of the time it's downright good.  (Way to get excited Becky.)  It may not be what I wanted, but there are some definite things that I love about it.  (ESL brings me so much joy and I would never have gotten to coordinate it if God had fulfilled my dreams.)  But I think I'm where I'm supposed to be and I can look back and see how my past life-shattering experiences have humbled me and forced me to rely on God.  I continue to cling to the promises from the Bible because I've seen them come true.  Sometimes the things that are most for are good require God to not give us what we want.  And sometimes it requires Him to take away the things we rely on and want more than we want Him.  And sometimes he has to shatter our best-laid plans to force us to trust in His plans (that He rarely clues us in on - so frustrating).  But that doesn't matter.  He asks us to have faith and not doubt.  I also have to rest in the knowledge that God is good.  And if He is good then these verses are true.

Romans 8:28 - And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.

Jeremiah 29:11-13 - For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.  Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you.  You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.
(I think we can still believe Jeremiah 29 for ourselves, even though it was written to the Israelite exiles in Babylon.)


Oh..and I have my car back, my finger is healing nicely (I can sign my name again!), the Dark Night was good (but dark), and my homegrown stuffed peppers were quite yummy.  Even if I can't have a yard, at least I have my balcony garden and it is a success!  :D

I still don't have my car back.  :(  It is hard to get around, but I have lots of wonderful people who've given me rides this week.  This morning, Sarah went home to Montana for a few weeks and left me her car.  I took it to go pick up my medication from Kroger and it proceeded to bite my middle finger.  I guess it wanted to show me who's boss...it's not going to let me break it like I broke my car.  Well...I picked up my meds and came home with a very painful, very swollen finger. 

But after 800mg of ibuprofen and some TLC involving ice cubes and a rest from work (due to an inability to use my right hand), my finger is feeling much better.  I don't feel like the ibuprofen took the swelling down (it feels really funny), but at least it doesn't hurt to type.  I might actually get some work done today.  And I'm pretty sure the finger isn't broken which is a huge relief.

I made some very yummy raspberry-pear crisp Monday night.  It is all gone already.  :(

And Sarah and I have been thoroughly enjoying Lego Star Wars II (based on Episodes IV, V & VI).  It is very fun...I highly recommend it.

So on Wednesday I found out that the transmission on my car was shot.  The lady at the car dealership freaked me out by saying something like, "It's your transmission.  For parts, labor and taxes to install a rebuilt transmission will be three-seven-five-zero-nine-five.  A used one will be two-nine-nine-zero-nine-five".  Because of the way she said it, it took me a second to realize that that was six digits ($3750.95 & 2990.95), not five digits like I was expecting when I took it in.  So after praying and getting some advice and using my engineer's logic, I've decided to get the transmission rebuilt some place else as opposed to buying used and having it installed.  It'll be a bit more money but it should have a longer warranty...so hopefully it won't break again.  The guy at the transmission place said that they'd had a lot of troubles with this transmission so I'm worried that if I buy used (no warranty or only ~90 days to a year) then it'll just break again before I'm done with school.  Hopefully this way it'll last me out.

My parents are amazing and my dad is never going to get to retire because of his two intelligent, low-income daughters.  They don't have the money for this either...but they have good credit.  I feel really badly about that.  I'll be making up for all the times they've helped me out when I finally finish with school.  My dad always says he's hoping that I'll take care of him in the way he'd like to become accustomed to.  :D  I suppose I could do that.  ;)